The Technical Threesome
by Black Lipstick
Summary: Shizuo comes after a long night of throwing things goes to bed. He is rudely awakened by his two alternate personalities, Delic and Tsugaru. They tell him that he needs to loosen up, and proceed to help him...by doing stuff. LEMONY YAOI. A kink meme.
1. Who the hell are you?

**Title:** A Technical Threesome

**Author:** Me, of course.

**Characters:** Delic x Shizuo x Tsugaru. Yep, it's a YAOI. If youd o not know what those words mean, please do not continue reading. And if you do, you can't say I didn't warn ya.

**Summary:** Shizuo comes after a long night of throwing things goes to bed. All he wants is to get some sleep, but is rudely awakened by his two alternate personalities, the playful yet suave Delic and the serious Tusgaru. They tell him that he needs to loosen up more, and they help him...by doing stuff. LEMONY YAOI. If you don't like it, please don't read and scar yourself for life.

A kink meme for an anonymous person.

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Yes, I wrote it. And I had a hell of a fun time doing it too. XD

No smut in this chapter, but there will be a lemon in the next couple.

And...start!

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God, it had been a long night. Shizuo flopped himself onto his bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. The fucking flea had followed him all through the god damned night, and he hadn't been able to take a break from throwing things for 8 straight hours. He was home now, where he could sleep, and relax...

Closing his eyes, he curled up into a ball and felt himself relax. The comfort of sleep slowly entrapped him and he felt himself fall asleep.

When he woke up, he felt like it had been only 5 minutes. The sound of voices kept persistent, and he sat up instinctively and threw the alarm clock at the side of his bed at them. "SHUT UP!" He growled, and flopped back into bed, holding his pillow.

"Eh? Aw...Tsu, he looks so mad." A playful voice that sounded too much like his own spoke.  
"I told you this was a bad idea." Shizuo felt the weight of the bed shift as the person who had just spoke took a seat. Well, he couldn't ignore the voices now that they had a body to go with them. He opened his eyes and turned to look in the directions of the voices, only to see two identical copies of him.

In shock, he sat up and studied them in confusion. "W-wha?"

Copy number one, the first voice, spoke. "Oh! He's awake. Hello Shizuo, I'm Delic, and that is Tsugaru. It's nice to meet you, finally." Wearing a white suit that made him look too much like a host, the Shizuo clone called Delic held out his hand. Utterly confused, Shizuo shook it.

"W-what the hell are you doing here?" He asked, backing up on his bed.

Tsugaru sat on his bed, in blue kimono, and looked at Delic in apathetic annoyance. " leave him hanging in confusion." Tsugaru tuned to Shizuo and said,"Look. We're your alternate personalities that you locked away. Delic here says that you aren't enjoying your life enough. Normally, I would say that you need to be more serious, but let's get honest here. You haven't been laid in what, 3 years?"

Shizuo blushed. "Shut up! Besides, what can you guys do anyway?"

He shivered at the look Delic gave him. "Well..." the man played with the cord of his headphones, "I don't know, Shizuo-kun~ Tsugaru, what do you think we should do?"

Tsugaru shook his head. "Stop messing with his head and just tell him we're going to fuck him already."

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Reviews and comments appreciated.


	2. Nno I'm not ready yet!

Here's more, and this time with smuttiness. Comments and review make my day~

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Shizuo looked at them in disbelief.

"What? But..I'm not gay! A-and you would know that, since you're my alternate personalities, right?" iAnd, you would know that I can kill both of you if you tried, right?/i "Plus, isn't this incest or something?"

"No, technically it's more like narcissism. Or selfcest. And Shizuo, don't even try it."

"Try what?" Before Tsugaru could respond, Shizuo flew a fist towards him. Amazingly enough, it was caught. "You do realize," Delic said nonchalantly, "that physically, we're exact copies of you? It's only our personalities that are different."

Shizuo's face paled. He jumped off the bed and then made a mad dash for the door.

"Delic, get him!", shouted Tsugaru.

In a matter of moments, Shizuo was pinned to the floor by himself while his other self bent down to poke him. "Look," Tsugaru said, "think of it like masturbating. Which, by the way, you should do more often. Once a week isn't going to cut it. Your cock is feeling very neglected." The statement made Shizuo blush.

Delic flipped over, so that Shizuo's back was against his chest. "Wait a second, I'm not ready yet!," he complained, as Tsugaru unbuttoned his pants. "Really Shizuo? Briefs?," Delic commented, as if he was ready to laugh. "They help me move around bette-my pants!"

While Shizuo had been distracted, Tsugaru had successfully removed his pants and briefs. "Igger ban I aspected," Tusgaru said as he took Shizuo into his mouth. Shizuo visibly tensed, then started to squirm. "N-no..." Shizuo bit his lip to keep from calling out. iHow embarrassing, getting aroused from something like this.../i

"Shizuo, your ears are so red~" Delic said, then bit down on his left ear. "a-ah..." Shizuo whimpered. Biting his lip was working, even though drops of blood appeared on his bottom lip. Delic let go of his ears and tsked. "We can have that now, can we." With one arm he kept Shizuo from squirming away, and with the other he pulled off his tie.

After tying Shizuo's wrists together as tightly as possible, Delic pushed Shizuo back on the floor and covered his mouth with his. "Mmrgh? Nnn!" With a grin against Shizuo's mouth, he pulled off Shizuo's shirt and played with the pink little bumps on his chest.

Then, with a little gasp and some shuddering, Shizuo came. Tsugaru licked off the white that shot out, while Delic praised Shizuo while kissing his cheek. "That wasn't so bad, right? Hey, Tsugaru, help me put him on the bed." The two lugged the well spent figure to the bed and plopped him on.

"Hey, don't go to bed yet." Tsugaru nudged him, and when that wouldn't work, bit down on his bottom lip. "It's not good to be so selfish. You should think about us too." They flipped him over onto his stomach and spread his two butt cheeks.

"Hm. I wonder if we could both fit."

"Well, it is his first time, Delic. We'll have to use something to loosen him up."

Shizuo, who was ust at the point of relaxing, froze.

"You can't do something like that!" He gasped and stiffened when Delic pressed a finger to the tight hole.

"Yep, we're definitely going to need something. I wonder if cooking oil would work." Shizuo shook his head and protested as best as he could. "Don't use that!"

"What, so you'd rather we use nothing at all?"

"N-no!" Shizuo attempted to think of something he had that wouldn't kill him. "Um...u-use baby oil! It's next to that table!" There was still some left over from when Kasuka had come over to visit. No, they hadn't done anything incesty, but Kasuka used it to moisturize his hands so that he would get bad pictures of cracked hands. He had forgotten the bottle, and Shizuo had never actually done anything with it.

"Hrm. That would work then," Tsugaru said, picking up the bottle. Delic pet Shizuo's hair, and though Shizuo couldn't see it, he was sure the other person had a big grin on his face,

"Shizuo,-kun, get ready for the best sexing of your life," he proclaimed.

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Lolol. Shizuo is way too ooc. There will probably be only 1 or 2 more parts, btw.


End file.
